My friend recently got engaged, and at first, everyone was thrilled for her. But things took a strange turn when she announced she wanted a “free” wedding — the kind she’s seen on TikTok where the couple spends nothing. Instead of keeping it simple, she planned a full event by having friends and family do everything for her — venue, photos, flowers, music, food, decorations — all at their own expense.

She assigned each guest a potluck dish, asked another friend to design invitations, expected someone to provide a large tent and speakers, and generally acted like everyone should be honored to help. The kicker was when she told me I’d be baking her wedding cake — a multi-tier, gold-leaf, fondant masterpiece. I’m not a baker; I make cookies for fun. When I told her I couldn’t pull that off and pointed out that a “free” wedding shouldn’t mean other people pay and work for it, she got silent.

I explained that asking everyone to contribute expensive items and labor wasn’t fair, and that if she truly wanted a free wedding, she could elope or do city hall. She left upset, and later I got a message from another friend saying I hurt her feelings and should’ve let her realize it herself. The bride-to-be then texted me a cold, “Don’t worry about the cake.”

Now I feel torn — I didn’t insult her, but I was honest. She seemed so excited, and I didn’t want to crush that. But I also didn’t want to be taken advantage of. I still believe someone needed to say it, even if it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Sometimes being a good friend means telling the truth, not just nodding along.