I (35F) split up with my ex just over a year ago. We had some issues with getting him to provide for our son (now 8). His parents were very much interested in drama.

When I made an application through the official “Child Maintenance Service”, he received a schedule listing his monthly payments. His parents contacted me, asking me to agree to an unofficial payment plan because the CMS amount was too high. They claimed that agreeing to a lower amount between us was better than not receiving a single penny from CMS.

I refused, deciding that having this agreement on paper and not receiving it would still be better than maybe getting something.

My ex didn’t make a single payment and lost his job shortly after. His child maintenance amount was recalculated, granting him payments of £7-ish/week, which he still refused to pay, which then caused the CMS to collect the money themselves and charge him (and me) some extra fees for the service.

His parents were very much aware of it and complained about it, especially about the fees [he gets charged 20%] and about the arrears that are still on the account.