Three months after my mom’s funeral, my dad married her sister. I told myself grief made people do strange things. Then my brother arrived late to the wedding, pulled me aside, and handed me a letter Mom never wanted me to read.I didn’t think anything could feel worse than watching my mom die. I was wrong.She fought breast cancer for almost three years. Toward the end, she barely had the strength to sit up, but she still asked me if I ate, if my brother, Robert, paid his bills on time, and if Dad remembered to take his blood pressure meds.Even dying, she was parenting.I was wrong.The house still smelled like antiseptic and her lavender lotion when we buried her.People kept saying the same things.

“She’s not in pain anymore.”She was so strong.”“You’ll be okay. Time helps.”Time did nothing. It just made the silence louder.Three months after the funeral, my dad asked Robert and me to come over.Time did nothing.“Just talk,” he said on the phone. His voice sounded too careful.
When we walked into the living room, everything was exactly the same. Mom’s coat still hung by the door. Her slippers were under the couch. The flowers from the funeral were gone, but the space they left felt permanent.My aunt Laura was sitting next to my dad. Mom’s younger sister. She looked nervous. Hands folded. Knees pressed together. Eyes red like she’d been crying, but not recently.The flowers from the funeral were gone.